Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Owl Dating Service

Only a couple days left before Christmas. So, unless you're a glutton for punishment, you'll want to stay away from the malls. Am I right folks?

So, to help you out, my lady friend, Angie, dropped off a new batch of owl plushies. A few have already flown from HQ, so if you want to nab one you better get your sweet buns here quick. I'll have a nice Christmas beer chilling in the fridge for you when you get here!

Christmas can be a lonely time for some people or in this case, some Owls. Below are some of our favorite bachelors and bachelorettes. Maybe we can find the perfect owl match for you!

"Smoochie smoochie" Here is one of our success stories.

Wayne from Toronto says:
"Want to meet up, smoke one and see if we fall in love and live happily ever after? "
Oh Wayne, so romantic!

How about Brian from Edmonton..
"I am 26 years old, occasionally depressed, and unable to achieve my goals. i can focus on things like going to the bathroom, watching south park, and crippling nostalgia, but i cannot seem to galvanise my efforts in order to maintain a relationship, or to achieve any long-term goals."
Whoa girls! Stop pushing and get in line like everyone else!

Meet Denis from Laval....
"I'm looking for a girl who's into metal, hard rock, classic rock.
I have no other real requirements... I'm just tired of dating girls who tell me Metal is all just screaming crap... "

"Hi, looking for a long term relationship. not into one night stands. plus im a bbw"
Thanks for getting right to the point, Stephanie from Winnipeg.

Tell us a little about yourself, Brenda from Ottawa...

"I'm the type of girl that won't take shit; that has been called fat more than once by a total stranger; that is drunk at this moment; that is as comfortable in hoodies and jeans as in stilettos and hot aforementioned dress hob-nobbing with fashionista-bosses; that tries to make everyone feel comfortable; that lacks a sensible filter; that always goes from the wrong kinda guy"

Well where do I sign up?

Ar you Prince Charming? Maybe you're what Dianne from Calgary is looking for. But just to make sure, here is what she is not looking for....

"Please do not contact me if you are: Bearded, over 28, creepy, pretentious, into drugs, unemployed or overall unmotivated"

Sheesh! Well pardon me all to hell, your majesty!

Take one of our more than eligible singles home for just $55.

Seriously though. I got all these profiles off of Craigslist. Awesome!!


K.Line said...

This post is hilarious!

Audrée Lapierre said...

I love reading craigslist ads too!!