Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Public transit etiquette & Lifetime Spring stock is in!

Oui Hello $64.

Hi hi hi. Well, this post was supposed to be about the new Lifetime Collective stock we just got in for the dudes. But I've been inspired by one of the weirdest metro rides I've had since moving to Montreal, six years ago. Well, just calling it weird may be letting this particular collection of mutants I was riding with get off easy. I mean, you could probably find more bang-able people at a leper colony.

Let's do the creepy metro roll call!
Theo $100.
Guy clipping his fingernails? Present! Um, can we all agree that any activity that causes pieces of yourself to fall on the seat and floor should be kept as private time? Usually old dudes are the main offender but filing your nails and blowing the gross nail powder onto the guy sitting next to you is equally gross. Stop doing it!

Generator $68.
The Nose Picker? Present! Very similar to the nail cutter. Seriously, just wait the 10 minutes it takes to get somewhere else to go nose mining. Like a bathroom. It's wicked easy to find one anywhere you go. The only guy worse than this is.......

Generator $68.

The "Farmer Blow" guy? Present! For those of you who don't know what a Farmer Blow is, let me enlighten you. Basically , you push your finger against one of your nostrils, pinching it shut and then blow hard out the other nostril creating a very messy trail of snot all over your chest and whatever is in the line of fire. Seriously, whats worse? Having a plugged up nose or boogers all over your shirt? You'd think the answer would be an easy one but a lot of dudes seem to struggle with this conundrum.

Harmonium $68.

Lost Innocence $68.
The Smelly Lunchbox Guy? Always present! Wowzers! Your lunch smells like a cross between meat that's been out in the sun for too long and boiled baby diapers. You think a small airtight compartment is the best place to eat that?

Broken Chair $64.

The Rap Star? Present! Yes, we all get it! You love rap music. We understand. But headphones are available to the public. All these months of you listening to super tinny music through the small speakers in your phone where in vain. This is always some dude, so on behalf of all males, I apologize to you ladies.
Big Dipper $48.

Inner City Pressure $52.

Radio Radio $48.
There are many more recurring characters on my daily commute but I'll save that for Public Transit Etiquette Part II. These were the ones that were riding with me today. The worst thing about the ride though was the fact that I was going to bring my video camera to film a little "How To Get To HQ" guide (coming soon) but I forgot it. Darn.

And on the Lifetime Collective subject, we have many more styles from these guys in stock. It's always nice getting new colourful Spring stuff and taking a break from my ever growing all black wardrobe.
Fever $40.

Pull My Hair $48.

Until next time,



Michelle Pyxus said...

Bahaha... Good commentary Tyson! You should also add in "part deux" - The creepy old man that tries to feel up young girls sitting beside them, thinking they won't notice.. I mean.. Hello old man!! "Do I really have to yell at you to get your dirty mitts off that young girl!?"

p.s. Fantastic menswear... Please wear one of these shirts on a date boys and don't bother with t-shirts with stupid sayings. 8)

Kirsten McCrea said...

Farmer Blow in public??? Noooo! Indoors??? NOOOOOOOO. On the metro??? N!O!O!O!O!O!O!O!O!O!

I am just going to go slowly recoil in horror now...

AngieMontreal said...

What.. "guy who sits with his legs splayed wide open, squashing you uncomfortably into a corner" didn't make your list?

I'm disappointed...or maybe dudes don't do that to other dudes...