Monday, August 06, 2007

We've been skunked!

So, this past weekend was a pretty hectic one with the opening and all(see previous post). Well late Friday night, things got even crazier. It all started out like every other night before an opening.... We were at HQ pretty late hanging the show and Angie and Garrett drove home with his father while I decided to take my bike. Angie got home before me, so she took out our dog, Spidey, for a walk. Angie is expecting me home shortly, so she has no problem leaving her set of keys with our house guests who go on their separate ways to grab a late dinner. While they are out behind our place, our moron dog decides he wants to chase and then corner a fucking skunk! Now Angie has to decide; does she want to run over and pull Spidey away and risk getting the business end of the striped bastard or play it safe and hope Spidey smartens up and backs down. Problem is our dog is a retard. So, you guessed it, he gets sprayed. Now, I've always said I kinda like the smell of skunk but I had never actually smelled one up and close. Not the same thing. It smells like poison! Wow, there really is no other way to describe it. It was soo intense! So, Angie gets Spidey back on his leash and heads back to our place. On the way, the dog takes a crap, so Angie bends over to pick up the shit, and here it gets even more interesting, her dress has a zipper that runs from top to bottom, splits open and breaks exposing her snooch to the neighborhood! By this time I'm home so Angie buzzes our place and tells me I need to get down there right away! I get outside and see the most pathetic scene I've ever seen in my life. Spideys tied to a pole reeking like death and crusted all over his face with skunk juice and filth, Angie's juggling her purse and trying to cover her junk from the prying eyes of St. Henri. And to make matters worse, I thought she had HER keys so I left mine upstairs! Now we're both locked out!

Sure they look cute now but these dickheads will spray the shit out of you the first chance they get!

This is what Spidey looked like before the assault.

Hey douchebag, who cut your hair? A blind woodsman?

I've washed this asshole, like, 30 times and he still fucking stinks! And if one more person tells me to use Tomato juice, I'm going to stab them in the face! Guess what shithead, it doesn't work! Unless you want your dog to smell like a skunky pizza, I suppose. We ended up taking him to our friends Yana (Suayana) and Freddy (Pony of Prey) and hosed him down out side. Good times, good times.


Anonymous said...

Use Hydrogen Peroxide and Baking Soda.

The urban legend about tomato juice comes from the fact that tomato juice numbs the olfactory glands of the person washing the dog.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, not in the house. The stuff comes off and moves, it will stick to your bathtub. Use bleach to clean that if you can.